Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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