So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
