i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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