So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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