it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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