So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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