I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
