in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize