You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
