I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
