My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
