I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
