I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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