How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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