Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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