Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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