i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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