some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize