this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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