I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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