I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
