Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
