you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
