I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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