Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
