come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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