Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
