His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize