does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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