shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
