I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
