OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize