my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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