I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize