Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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