I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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