Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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