16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
