Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All I want is dick and wine.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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