Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
