3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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