At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
