my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
