Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
