Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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