Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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