isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
