we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
