And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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