I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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