arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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