I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
