you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
