so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
