Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
