I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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