3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
