is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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