We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize