Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
