guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
