woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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