the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
try to milk me bitch
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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