We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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