peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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