Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
